Dialogue 1: A childlike creature dressed in muddy rags is rudely awakened from her sleep by what appears to be an inquisitive leprechaun prodding her with an oak twig.
The child: Who are you?
Leprechaun: (Jumping up and down and still prodding the child with the twig) Who am I? Who are you? Who is who?
The child: Stop doing that! It hurts!
Leprechaun: (Looking at the child with slightly tilted head and excited eyes) You’re very tiny, do you know that?
The child: (Sulking) Yes I know that! What’s wrong with that!
Leprechaun: And you are very muddy to. And you stink. Where are you from?
The child: I don’t stink! I’m just muddy because I have no where to go.
Leprechaun: Don’t you have a mother to take care of you?
The child: No…
Leprechaun: What has happened to her?
The child: (sobbing) I lost her.
Leprechaun: So you lost her. From which pocket? (Laughing at his own joke)
The child: (looking angry but confused) It’s not funny! I will never find her again.
Leprechaun: Of course you will find her again. Where did you lose her?
The child: Over by the lake.
Leprechaun: What lake?
The child: The one in the forest.
Leprechaun: There are many lakes in the forest.
The child: (Starting to sob again) I will never find her.
Leprechaun: Come on, no tears, I will help you find her.
The child: But how?
Leprechaun: (holding up a green plant toward the child) With my magical four - leaf-clover.
The child: Is it really magical?
Leprechaun: It is. And if you use it, anything you wish for will come true.
The child: Really?
Leprechaun: (handing over the four-leaf-clover to the child) Really really.
The child: (closing her eyes) I’m wishing now.
Leprechaun: (Starring at a big bag of candy on the ground) What on earth! I thought you wanted to know where your mother is.
The child: But I wanted some candy.
Leprechaun: Ohh….What are we going to do now?
The child: Can’t I wish ones more?
Leprechaun: It only works once.
The child: (Starting to cry)
Leprechaun: Alright…Alright…don’t cry. I will help you find your mother anyway.
The child: (throwing herself into the leprechaun’s arms and giving him a kiss on his cheek) Thank you!
Dialogue 2: It’s five a clock in the morning and a slightly drunk 16 years old girl stumbles in after a night out with her friends. In the hall way her mother, who by no means has given her permission to be out this late, is waiting.
- There you are!
- (Stumbling a little while trying to take of her shoes) Yeah…here I am.
- What the hell do you think you are doing?
- (Still struggling with her shoes) What?
- I have been waiting up all night for you!
- What for?
- For you! Are you stupid!
- No
- And I have called the mothers of all of your friends!
- Why?
- To know where you were!
- So….
- So….what do you mean so. Have you no respect for my feelings!
- I just don’t see…
- Right! You just don’t see, do you! That’s typical you! I have been waiting for you all night and I’m going to work in three hours!
- So…I don’t see why that is my problem.
- You don’t see….You don’t see…..!
- Don’t get all worked up about nothing now mother.
- I do not get all worked up about nothing! You are just 16 and you’re drunk!
- So…
- What do you mean so!
- What does it matter?
- You’re drunk!
- Maybe.
- What do you mean maybe!
- I just mean that maybe I’m drunk.
- You’re drunk!
- Ok, I’m drunk.
- Thank you.
- Can I go to bed now?
- No, we are not done yet.
- But mother please…I’ve got a headache.
- That’s what happens when you’re drunk. Don’t expect me to feel sorry for you.
- I don’t!
- Good.
- Fine
- Have you been having sex?
- What?
- Sex, you know, SEX
- No!
- Of course you have, you just don’t want to tell me.
- No, I haven’t! I’m not a slut. I leave that part to you.
- And what is that suppose to mean.
- Grandma has told me what you were like when you were young.
- Really?
- She said she had a hard time stopping you from sleeping with everyone you laid you eyes on.
- (launching at her daughter)Oh, she said that, did she?
- (Jumping aside) Yes she did!
- (boyfriend of mother entering from the living room) Stop arguing you two. You have both gotten too much to drink this evening.
- (Looking suspiciously at her mother) You’re drunk!
- No, I’m not!
- Yes you are! You haven’t been waiting for me, you have been boozing!
- Now you two…
- (running up the stairs) I hate you!
- Hanna!
- Grandma?
- Yes dear?
- Are you going to be alright?
- Of course I will dear.
- What will happen to you?
- What do you mean?
- Mamma says you are going to die.
- Does she?
- Yes.
- Hum…Maybe I will.
- What does that mean?
- That means that I will fall asleep forever, dreaming nice dreams.
- Really?
- Yes, really.
- Will you snore when you’re dead?
- (A short laughter) Maybe.
- What will you be dreaming?
- All kinds of nice things.
- Like ponies?
- Yes, like ponies.
- And elephants and dragons and tigers?
- Yes, things like that.
- Can I talk to you?
- No, you can’t talk to someone who is sleeping.
- Why not?
- (A light sigh) Well, you can’t.
- Why not?
- Because I can’t talk when I’m asleep.
- But I will still get my birthday present?
- (A short laughter) Of course you will.
- I love you grandma.
- I love you to dear.
Good job with these dialogs. The first one was good, appropriate language, it felt as it was meant for younger readers, given the setting that would be the most obvious target group. Again, well done. The second one was also good. A true to life slice of every day drunken mother vs teenage daughter "stand-off", or run-off if you like. The last one I would say is a heartfelt last-ish goodbye between a dying grandmother and a, I would think 6 to 8 year old girl (I'm lousy at guessing the age of children). All in all, well done. Maybe a bit "too real" for my taste, but nevertheless good solid writing.
SvaraRaderaJag gillade särskilt den tredje dialogen. Den var så söt och precis så som ett litet barn skulle kunna säga om att få presenter. Jättebra.
SvaraRaderaHillevi
Hi! I must agree with the comments above, the three dialogs were all well written and I really liked the sincereness in the strained situation in #2. Way too many families lives like that and it makes me sad. But you´ve also shown that you can write from a child´s point of view, capturing the emotions and desires in a great way. Keep it up!!!
SvaraRaderaNot bad at all, Stina, but after learning from the poetry slam what you’re capable of achieving with your imagination and language skills, I can’t help thinking that you’re actually playing it safe in all three dialogues. Am I right?
SvaraRaderaTip for future dialogues (you don’t need to change your current ones even if you choose to include them in your portfolio):
- To further improve your creative writing skills and broaden your linguistic horizons, try to give your characters their own distinct and disparate “voices” and speech patterns to a greater extent (without compromising the flow of the conversation, of course).